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In a World of Chaos, Respect Conflicting Worldviews

AS WE WATCH OUR POLITICAL SYSTEM WORK (OR NOT) TO SELECT THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNTED STATES, I HEAR MANY PEOPLE SAY – “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS HAPPENDING IN THE US.”

usAs a child of the 60’s, I can remember another time in history when our nation was faced with such polarization that it lost much of what we had all been raised to believe in – that each person had a right to free speech.  Those were contentious times and people confronted one another philosophically and violently around such issues as civil rights, the Vietnam War, feminism and justice.

In the last 5 years, we have experienced more violence in our communities than ever before and seeing people’s reaction to it by creating even more violence and death.  We have 24/7 news access and more advanced technology than ever before and yet we witness behavior that seems primitive.argue2

We have shows that talk about bullying and the damage it is doing to our young people and that drugs have become an epidemic, and diabetes and obesity are killing our youth. Big issues in our country require people being willing to play a bigger game to work together and let go of their fixed beliefs and individual ideology and world views to be able to see something bigger than themselves, their emotions and individual perspectives.

Coaching people for over 25 years I have the opportunity to listen to many worldviews and perspectives that are different than my own.  However, my commitment to respect different perspectives and to look together with my client at possibilities, to see beyond immediate circumstances, is what is needed to create something new.  Following are some simple rules of civility that can help us all come together with an understanding of the issues and work to create solutions.

  • Re-evaluate what you believe in – be willing to look at different perspectives. Are you willing to have an open mind and perhaps change your point of view?
  • Try to understand what you see and what you hear versus react and respond in judgment at the way people are expressing themselves.
  • As Dr. Stephen Covey shared many years ago, “seek first to understand in order to be understood.”
  • Remember the loudest voice is not always the voice of reason.
  • Don’t give up and sit on the sidelines judging the game – get in the game and be a part of reinventing the game by playing a bigger game.
  • Remember, just because you do not agree does not mean the other person is wrong.
  • Come from respect and the values you want your children to follow.

worldWe are living in a diverse world and learning to get along at a global level like never before. Each person has a voice and can make an impact – technology has given us that. As Americans, we have the right to express ourselves. However, with that comes the responsibility to speak respectfully and thoughtfully in a way that people can hear and understand what we are saying.

I believe that from chaos we will create order; that has always been what changes our world and we must always have faith in the fact that each of us makes a difference.

With warmest gratitude,

Barbara and everyone at Source Point Training

 

Is this All there Is?

jokerThe New Year is behind us and we are all looking at the long year ahead.  This is the time many people begin to look at their careers and work environments and ask themselves, “Is this all there is?”

I remember many years ago when I was still working in the corporate environment, saying to co-workers, “I can’t stomach another budget review, project plan and feasibility analysis.” It just seemed as though I was doing the same thing over and over again. Where once these were exciting opportunities to demonstrate my capabilities, they had become just plain tiresome.   Nothing much has changed since that time because all businesses require the same basic tools to exist and people to provide them.

According to a recent survey conducted by LinkedIn Global Job Seeker Trends, people do not change jobs because of their bosses, lack of challenge, too much demand on them or even the pay.  Of 10,000 people surveyed on why they changed jobs, 45% indicated because they saw a lack of career opportunity.  I have coached many people through the years on how to make the most of their jobs and take responsibility for their career path.  Too often people expect their managers to guide them or let them know what is needed.  Many people wait for the right opportunity to shine.  However, if you ask most people who have become successful they will tell you it is because they took charge of their careers. They used every opportunity to look for and take on new challenges.  This does not always mean that you need to change jobs.

Here are some strategies that I have used in coaching when I have clients who find themselves stuck with a low libido when it comes to their careers:

  • First, remember that your job and career are only one part of your life. Look at all areas of your life to determine if this low level of energy and interest is in any other area of your life.  Perhaps you are facing the winter blues and nothing feels quite right.  If that is true, it is time to do an inventory of what brings you real meaning and a sense of purpose.  Are you a creative thinker and lacking opportunities to use that natural gift of yours?  Look around to see if there is a project waiting for you to take on at home or at work?  If it is at work, who can you enroll in some new thinking or ideas for change?  If at home, what would be your first step to get started?Bulb
  • Be willing to declare something new.  Iyanla Vanzant, a great writer, wrote the book In the Meantime in which she spoke of how people wait for the right time to take on their dreams and what they want.  There is no time like the present.  It has become even more relevant today with our rapidly changing times.  Look for opportunities at work to take on a new project. How do you find them?  Look for areas that others are complaining about but not taking action to change anything.  You can be the one to declare your intention to take it on.  Find something that needs changing that is really meaningful for you.  You must be truly interested in what you want to change or else it will become hard and eventually you will give up.  When you decide what you want to change and how that will make a difference, begin to enroll others in your ideas.  Each person in an organization can take the lead but it requires your commitment.  People who wait will not be seen as the people organizations want to move up their career ladder.
  • Communicate, communicate, communicate.  Share your intentions to advance your career with your managers.  Let them know you want to be challenged and to play your best game.  Identify areas you want to become more capable and let your manager know.  Ask for challenging assignments where you will need to stretch yourself and learn something new and be able to take more risks.  This will always benefit you as your career path develops.  Many mangers I have coached have shared that they wish their employees would ask them for more challenging assignments.  You must be willing to take the lead in your career.Smile
  • Get a coach.  Before changing careers one of the best investments you can make is to hire a coach.  Perhaps your organization has internal coaches available to assist you in your career development.  Almost 50% of organizations today have internal coaches or are planning to provide internal coaches for their employees.  A coach is a great resource to help you evaluate your strengths and what you really want to do to develop yourself and advance your career.  Source Point Training has been working with organizations over the last several years to provide coaching for employees within an organization who want to play a bigger game and contribute at higher levels but require coaching to develop their best strategy.

There are many opportunities for you to create exactly what you want in the year ahead.  The first step is to get off the bench and take the lead to determine what you want, where your greatest talents lie and enroll people to give you the opportunity to go for it and bring more excitement to what you do everyday.

With warmest gratitude, Barbara and everyone at Source Point Training

 

Become a Certified Professional Performance Coach!

ICF CCEUpon completion of Source Point Training’s Fundamentals and Mastery of Performance Coaching certification, you will h ave earned 149 CCE’s and have all the required traininghours needed to achieve ICF’s Associate Coach Certification (ACC) credential.

As a coaching student with Source Point Training, you will learn additional skills not taught by most coach training programs:

  • How to use Neuro Linguistic Programming tools when communicating with clients to develop strategies for success
  • How to integrate coaching in the workplace
  • Receive your personalized Emergenetics© Profile – one of the newest leading-edge behavior assessment emergeneticsLogotools using left brain/right brain thinking and behavior attributes
  • Practice ontological based coaching using the whole person approach
  • Develop a coach’s mindset and personal life practices
  • Access to hundreds of tools and templates used by Master Coaches world wide
  • Develop a marketing and business plan to launch a successful coaching practice
  • Opportunities for post training contract work with Source Point Training

Don’t let another year pass you by!

Start your journey this year!

707-750-3318

[email protected]

 

Living on Purpose!

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Today, there is a lot of talk about ‘purpose’.  Businesses have long had purpose and/or mission statements, personal growth environments encourage individuals to find their personal purpose, some people look for purpose in a spiritual context i.e. the purpose of being in this world, etc.  But what do you think when you hear “live a life of purpose”?

Purpose isn’t just for those BIG concepts – the purpose of a business or your life purpose.  While those BIG purposes are the foundation, how do you go about living that purpose in everything you do each day?  In organizations, how do employees live out a company’s purpose within the duties and leadership of their individual positions?

As many of our readers know, Purpose answers the question ‘why?’ and it guides us like the rudder on a boat.  Why is this business in business?  Why are you here on this planet at this time?  For most individuals, answering the later question is a journey of self-reflection, exploration and discovery.  In our e-book – The Power of Personal Purpose – Barbara shares an exercise to assist individuals in starting a Purpose Quest.  This is a great exercise that many of our coaches use with their clients to begin to identify their life purpose.

What I, and the clients I work with, find most impactful in living a life of purpose, is seeing the purpose in everything we do – each and every day:

  • Why am I having today’s meeting with my staff?
  • Why are we producing and distributing this report each month?
  • Why am I in relationship with this person?

Once I’m clear on the purpose I’m about to undertake, I can clearly see and articulate the vision I have for the meeting, the usage of the report data, or the vision for the relationship.  And from there we can set goals/milestones that will come from the action we will take and to identify how those actions will occur.

Take some time this week and take yourself on a Purpose Quest!  If you don’t already have a copy of The Power of Personal Purpose, click here to download it.

And, if you find that your purpose calls you to empower others, to be a catalyst for change, to raise up leaders, to walk beside those who struggle through challenges, consider becoming a coach for others!  Our next training begins April 29-May 1 in Tempe, AZ!

With warmest gratitude, Barbara and everyone at Source Point Training

 

That which is not acted upon is not learned!

Likely you’ve heard the phrase – being a lifelong learner.  As we all know, life is a great provider of the lessons most meant for each of us.  Life also has this funny way of continually giving us more and more learning opportunities until we finally understand the lesson.

So, now with another year completed and the new one only a few days underway, I want to share with you a similar phrase that we frequently reference in our trainings:

That which is not acted upon is not learned!

act

The acquisition of a skill, whether improved communication, coaching, knitting, growing a business, etc., requires much more than knowledge alone.  Consider the example of learning to play the violin:

  • If you are given 100 hours to read on how to play the violin, you may be able to pass tests, but would not be a successful violinist.violin
  • If you were then to watch videos of people playing the violin for 100 hours, there would still be little to no change in your ability to successfully play the violin.
  • If, however, you were given a violin and a chance to practice, review recorded sessions of yourself playing, analyze specific areas that needed more of your attention, request feedback from others and continue to practice, you would become a highly successful violinist!

The same applies to all our learning.  As we move through these early days of 2016, I challenge you to reflect back on 2015. Looking back from the view of “hindsight is 20/20”.  What do you want to be different for yourself, your family, your career, your community, our world, in 2016?

  • What “lessons” do you see that still await your learning?
  • What “action/practice” will you take on to bring this to fruition this year?  action300

Working with a coach can be a great resource in our learning process.  A coach listens neutrally, challenges your beliefs that may have held you back last year, supports you in creating a plan, and  plays a big part in your accountability towards realizing your 2016 intentions!

With warmest gratitude,
Barbara and everyone at Source Point Training

 

Be The Present This Holiday

 

xmas7While the holidays are something we all look forward to for many reasons – parties, presents, good food and spiritual connection – it can also create a great deal of stress on our relationships.

Family members get together from far and wide but not all family relationships are the best; yet xmas6we do it for the “season”.  Parents with small children can be taxed to keep up with all the holiday school activities and shopping for the right toy.  For many, even if it is Black Friday or Cyber Monday, who has time to shop?  One father this season took his vacation time before Black Friday so he could camp outside the store to get his daughters the electronic toy they really wanted for the best price.

Family in Living Room on Christmas MorningSingle adults can get depressed wishing they had that perfect relationship to share the holidays with. Many people are faced with loss and missing a loved one who has passed.  This time of year often brings up memories of the past which can create a feeling of nostalgia.

Meeting expectations of yourself and others can take a toll.  In coaching people, there is always the opportunity to talk about relationships either at home or at work.  Here are some things to consider this time of year to fully engage with the season.

Be the present – Take time to acknowledge all that you have.  Even if you are facing challenges,xmas3 take time this year to reflect and be grateful for what you do have.  Each of us are a unique gift to the world and have the capacity to contribute in so many ways.  Recognize your special talents and find a way to share them with others.  Cooking, writing, building things, artistic talents, maybe even organizing or perhaps just listening to someone else share their feelings.

Perhaps you might think this is “not enough to give” but giving something that is uniquely you is the best gift you have.

xmas2Be present Focus on what is happening around you now.  Each day brings small miracles that many of us are too busy to see.  Take time for yourself each day to just be in the moment.  Sometimes a walk, or just sitting outside and observing nature can relieve stress and replenish the soul.  Take the time to really see how beautiful our world is and the people in it.  Watch a small child at play or enjoy your pet and experience their love.  Take time to be present and really listen to friends and experience their love.  Take time to be present and really listen to friends and family as they share with you.

Be in relationship It is not the present you bring to others, it is the relationship that you xmas1have to offer that is the best gift.  Take time to make a phone call to friends and family you may not have seen all year or plan time to visit.  Sending holiday cards for many has been replaced with electronic messages.  However, I love to get a holiday card with a Christmas letter from a long time friend or see the family Christmas picture.  Keep your holiday rituals that still create great value and meaning for you.

The winter is also a time of quiet reflection.  If there is a relationship that has experienced breakdown, take time to give forgiveness.

Life is all about relationships – because we are all connected.  It is the holiday season that reminds us all of the relationships we have now or in our past.  May you all have a joyful and blessed holiday season.

Warmest wishes, Barbara

 

The Gift of Neutrality

breakthroughIt is thrilling when my client has a big breakthrough that comes from having a new attitude and perspective on a situation – typically as a result of a challenging situation or relationship.  In the coaching process, one area of coaching that almost every client will explore is the value in being neutral and/or non-judgmental.  When I first offer clients the opportunity to examine their initial reaction they say, “How can I be neutral and non-judgmental in this?!”

In these situations, I ask my clients to consider what might be possible in those challenging situations and/or relationships:

  • What if you could view the situation/person through a Neutral Lens?
  • What different perspectives might you see?
  • What might you understand, rather than assume, of the person or situation?

To assist clients – actually anyone – in coming to a place of neutrality, I share the following principles that I use as a coach to avoid judgment and criticism of others:

  1. People always make the best choice available to them in the moment.
  2. Behind every behavior is a positive intention.

hindsightPeople will always make the best choices in situations based on what they see is possible at the time.  That wonderful “hind sight is 20/20” theory.  However, when we take the time to neutrally examine the situation and the assumption that we made and what we believed was possible at the time, we can often see that there were better choices.

The second principle will have people stop and examine the assumptions and judgement we make about another person’s behavior.  I doubt a child wakes up in the morning and decides to throw a huge temper tantrum at 3:30 that afternoon.  Yet, he/she comes home from kindergarten and within minutes is in a total meltdown.  After an exhausting effort to figure out his/her distress, the child’s parent realizes that the child is very hungry and simply wants a snack.  The child’s intention was to express this, yet was simply unable to either articulate it or gain the parent’s attention.

If we can pause in those challenging situations/relationships and apply these two principles to the people involved – including yourself – it can open a window of new and neutral perspectives for you.

The power of neutrality and inquiry are just some of the many skills we share with coaches in our Fundamentals and Mastery of Performance Coach Certification program.  If you would like to learn more about the skills of being a coach – here is a link to our latest recorded webinar hosted by Ginny Carter and Diana Cruz Navratil earlier this week.  Feel free to share the link with others who might be interested.

Warmest wishes, Barbara

 

Playing Your Bigger Game!

Playing a Bigger Game!

I have had the pleasure of working with Rick Tamlyn, author of Play Your Bigger Game.  He and Lara Whitworth, author of Co-Active Coaching, which is a must read for all students in our Fundamentals and Mastery of Performance Coaching program, are truly bigger game players.

What does it mean to play a bigger game you might ask?  Some might say “I am already working as hard as I can” or “I can’t take anything more on”.  Playing a bigger game is not about working harder.  It really is about learning to play YOUR bigger game – using what fuels you, what you are passionate about, and where you yearn to make a difference.

I believe each of us have a bigger game within us.  When I was a young professional, I did not know it but I had an innate desire to play a bigger game. Any time there was a new opportunity or a challenge to do something different, I was in the game.  Today, as a professional performance coach, I am always coaching people to play their bigger game.  There are 9 requirements to Playing a Bigger Game.  Rick uses the metaphor of a big game board in which you are always moving to a new square; each one giving you key opportunities to win at your bigger game.

ALIGNED WITH PURPOSE:  The first place I start is with my purpose.  What is it that I want to create that fills me with excitement and vision?  Two years ago it became the opportunity to go to China to work with the InVision Leadership Team as they prepared to play their bigger game by bringing a coaching context into the organization.

HUNGER:  Then I look at what I am truly hungry for.  I had been training and certifying coaches in the U.S. for 12 years and I was HUNGRY to teach coaching in new areas of the world – to share my knowledge and passion for coaching.

LEAVE COMFORT ZONE: I must be willing to step out of my comfort zone.  I never imagined doing what I am doing today.  The thought of working in China was beyond my imagination.  So of course I was challenged to leave my comfort zone.bold action

ASSESS:  There are times when you are playing a bigger game that you must stop and assess where you are before you can make your next move.  Playing a bigger game means that you must think in new ways in order to really create something new.

SUSTAINABILITY:  Choosing to play a bigger game means that you are creating something bigger than yourself – something that will sustain itself long after you have been a part of it.  I can think of so many people that I have coached who took on playing a bigger game and went on to create new companies, employ hundreds of people and become leaders in their industry. They were certainly looking to build something that was sustainable.  I work in China so that what is created with professional coaches will sustain itself.

ENROLL ALLIES:  Any bigger game player must have allies because no one can do anything sustainable without allies.  This means bigger game players must be excellent at enrollment and aligning purpose and vision with others to collaborate and have the greatest impact.

INVEST:  Paying a bigger game also requires that you invest; not just time and money.  Many times I coach people to look at how they must invest mind, body and spirit.  This is where the test of real commitment shows up.  I believe in the philosophy that 100% is possible 100% of the time, but I must be in the bigger game 100% in order to achieve this.

BIG GULP:  One of the last places I step into and check out is – does this bigger game pass the Big Gulp Test.  That means it is like jumping into the middle of thin air.  Many of you have heard me say “that’s not fear – that’s excitement!”  The body responds to both physiologically the same.  When I know I am playing a bigger game, I know it must pass the Big Gulp Test.  That is what I did when I left a very successful corporate career and “retired” to become a coach at the age of 38.doit

Last, of course, is the BOLD ACTION – “Just do it!” as Nike says.  

Then I start moving around the bigger game board all over again.  Check my purpose, assess my resources, enroll my allies, keep investing 100% and stay hungry for what it is that I want to create.  The bigger game is not hard; it is the most exciting way to live as far as I am concerned and I love coaching my clients to jump into their bigger game.

So there is no stopping you – just get clear on your purpose and start playng your bigger game!!!

Warmest wishes, Barbara

 

 

It’s all about choices and commitment

“Growth – It’s not about time or circumstances; It’s all about choices and commitment”

Growth, more specifically “personal growth/development”, is a term that has been around for quite a while.  Wikipedia has a great definition for Personal Development:shaking hands

Activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.

Those who have either dipped their toe into the water of personal growth or have jumped into the deep end of the pool all know one constant about “personal growth” – it is a lifelong journey.

Many people who work with coaches are looking for personal and professional growth.  And as we all know, life has a way of sending us “growth” opportunities all the time.  A coach challenges circumstance/events in our life, whether it’s going beyond our comfort zone in taking on a new position or project or challenges in our relationships.

issuesWhile it may be a “circumstance” that presents our next growth opportunity, growth has nothing to do with the circumstance itself.  It is about our choice(s) in the midst of the circumstance and the choices we make as we move through a situation.

When coaching clients we help them to move from reacting to responding.  If we pause, take a breath, and then choose to respond, we empower ourselves to more clearly examine the event or circumstance we are facing.  Most importantly we take ownership on finding a solution rather than playing the “blame game”.  This is where the growth opportunity lies.

By looking neutrally and honestly at our role in the event and using the following Accountability Module we can learn from any situation to help improve all of our results.

STOP – Get yourself grounded and neutral.  Being neutral in the moment can be challenging; and it is yet another important choice you have the opportunity to make.

LOOK – Consider the following reflection questions:

  • What was your attitude prior to the event/circumstance occurring?
  • What were you assuming?
  • What were you unconscious of or not paying attention to?
  • What were you in denial of prior to the event/circumstance occurring?
  • What might you be avoiding (not saying or not doing)?

CHOOSE – What other choices were available?  Do I want to continue to create and re-create similar events/circumstances?  What else is possible with different choices?

DECLARE – Declare (write it down or tell someone else) what you are declaring to do differently next time and what you will do to resolve the current event?

ACTION – Take committed action!  Bring your declaration to fruition!

MOVE ON – AND CLAIM THE LEARNING!!

Having a coach to assist you in navigating through these lessons can be very helpful.  A coach is a partner who is outside the “picture frame” of how we see things.  By looking in as an objective observer, they can assist in opening even greater possibilities that we alone are unable to see.

The coach/client relationship is a powerful force and a highly effective resource to you in your personal or professional development.  Top leadership in many organizations today are realizing what is possible through coaching and how it benefits their organizations.  In a recent study conducted jointly by the International Coach Federation and the Human Capital Institute, 27% of surveyed companies are using internal coaches and 72% plan to increase their use of internal coaches in the future.

If you or your organization are considering developing this valuable leadership skill, please contact us to learn more about  Fundamentals and Mastery of Performance Coaching.  Our next session begins February 19-21 and space is limited to 12 participants.  So choose to take action now and contact me via email at [email protected] or 800-217-5660 ext. 101.  If you know someone you think would make a great coach, feel free to forward this email to them with your invitation to check it out!

Warmest wishes, Ginny

 

Resolving Conflict From a Different Perspective

Coaching Conflict: Walking in Someone Else’s Shoes

argueAs children, we were taught to respect others and avoid conflict.  However, conflict is a part of everyday living and yet we look for ways to avoid it.  Conflict usually occurs when there are certain assumptions being made or unstated expectations not being met.  In all the years of coaching conflict, I see the avoidance, the resistance, the emotional toll and how much energy is lost when people do not feel comfortable dealing with conflict.

Coaching conflict situations at work can create a new level of understanding and increase trust with team members.  Coaching people to learn how to take the lead in a responsible way to clear up a conflict will increase your team’s performance, create a new level of understanding and increase trust with team members.

Here is a simple formula to use when coaching your team to confront conflict from a responsible position.

A Difficult Conversation Checklist

Prepare by walking through three conversations:

Conversation 1      What do you know ?

What do you know about your story of the situation, your feelings, your experience of the situation and what is at stake for you?

Conversation 2      What do you know?

What do you know about the other person’s story, their intention, their feelings, their perspective?

Before you decide to move to Conversation 3, stop and consider your purpose in having a conversation to address the conflict.

What is your purpose?  Perhaps you can decide that by looking at both your perspective and theirs, you see something that you did not recognize before when you were only focused on your own story and emotions.  What else can you do to let go and move on?

Conversation 3      Create a third story.

Describe the problem as the difference between your stories, including both viewpoints as a legitimate part of the discussion. Share your purpose for having this conversation and invite them to join you as a partner in sorting things out together.friends

When people experience you as not having your “fixed” position or agenda, they are much more willing to own a part of the problem and take responsibility in sorting it out.

Be sure to listen to understand their perspective and ask questions from a real place of inquiry and wanting to understand versus “prove it”.  Share your viewpoint, your past experiences, and your positive intention.

Most of all, stay open and talk about how to keep your communication moving as you go forward.

Warmest wishes, Barbara