Ever go to a meeting with a group of people you do not know and wanting to be your best self? Of course; we always want to show our best side, but what happens when we feel insecure or not in control? Perhaps we have been stressed with personal situations at home – things that we are working to cope with. When this occurs, usually our Nerd will show up.
Who is your Nerd you might ask? Well, it is the perfectly created behavior that lets the world know you are in control, confident and secure – while inside you feel just the opposite. Think of it like your Super Hero Suit. No one can “get” to you when you have it on and you have spent most of your life keeping your Nerd Suit in great shape.
The problem is that most of us don’t always know when we are wearing it. It just magically come over us when we have these emotions of not feeling in control or liked. When what we really want is approval and the feeling of confidence. Others can see it very clearly – and many times people react negatively to us when we are being our most Nerdy self.
I remember when I first discovered this about myself many years ago. I was given some powerful feedback when I was really into my Nerdiness. Of course I resisted the feedback. I wanted to explain why I was reacting the way that I was. But when I really took the time to understand it – and not judge it – then I was able to accept that this way of behaving in challenging situations was really my way of protecting myself from not feeling adequate or not feeling that I had personal power.
Instead of resisting our Nerd, you can benefit by embracing that part of you that shows up in these situations. Of course, once you realize that you are being a NERD, then you can begin to shift and remind yourself that it doesn’t matter what people say about you as long as you really know who you are. The more we embrace ourselves and the unique person we are, the less we will want to put on our Nerd suit and pretend we are someone else. The bottom line is we will always have times that we are a Nerd – learn to laugh at yourself when this occurs- it really can be funny to see yourself in this way.
Warmest wishes, Barbara