What if you could improve your relationships just by listening better? Listening to others is 80% of all communication; so clearly, listening skills are critical to our relationships. The Art of Deep Listening is about tuning in to what we are hearing. Although we hear with our ears, we don’t often listen with our hearts. Our self-talk is racing ahead to form responses or getting ready to interrupt with our own story, instead of deeply listening and connecting to their words. If we really listened and connected consistently, our relationships would reflect the same deep connections.
The Art of Deep Listening teaches us to put our own thoughts and agenda aside, while we intently take in and really hear the words, as well as feel the “energy” of the individual. It’s about connecting and really caring instead of giving them the “ole’ nod ‘n smile,” while our minds are at work on something else. Listening at this level, means we give up the focus on ourselves or our own thoughts and fully, with intention, focus on what the speaker is saying. We set aside our own thoughts and stories and engage deeply and meaningfully.
By deeply listening, we are accepting the speaker and what they have to say, even though their values, beliefs and agendas may be very different from our own. It’s a very powerful way of acknowledging and respecting others. Imagine a time when someone truly listened to what you had to say. How did that make you feel? By listening with our hearts we more deeply connect with individuals and experience improved relationships within our families, social circles and profession, as well as our community and world.
In Certified Relationship Coach Training, you learn how to coach people to build intentional relationships through trust, commitment and communication, as well as many other techniques, tools and skills.
Barbara Fagan & Lou Dozier, Co-Founders