How Choice Creates Great Leaders

Each day, we all make choices — consciously or unconsciously, which sets up the path for creating the results that we have. For many of us, this is probably a BIG pill to swallow, especially if we have faced many experiences where we did not see how we were responsible for the outcome. If we look deeply, we can begin to see all the choices we have made or could have made on the way to creating our outcomes. Some of those outcomes were part of our plan and some were not, but we always make the best choice available in the moment.

No one wakes up thinking, “What are some of the dumbest choices I can make today?” Yet as we step out into our daily lives, events occur and we respond, or in many cases, react, to what is occurring. We have the opportunity to look at all of these instances along the road, gather information, review other results (good and not so good) and make the best choice possible each time.

If we want things to be different, we can make new choices and take new actions, which will empower us to move forward using all of the information from the past. That history can positively support us in creating the changes and outcomes we truly desire.

Accountability: the Key Ingredient of Leadership

Many people think of accountability as a way to keep score and manage results. Making it all about blaming versus accountability is the first mistake we make when we talk about accountability. But the truth is, accountability creates awareness and opens the possibilities for new actions and beliefs in our lives.

Accountability simply means to have ownership for all results – either working or not working. Most people love to claim positive results and will tell you all the things they did to get them. But they are reluctant to have that same sense of excitement when looking at the results that they did not want. Simply put, accountability means “I am Able-to-Account for the choices I made, or am making, that lead to the outcomes I have now.” The opportunity is the power of creation – not being at effect of circumstances – but being in the driver’s seat of one’s life regarding ownership of the choices we make in any given moment.

In Leadership Source, we assist individuals in becoming aware of how powerful accountability can be in their lives, allowing them to achieve goals with outstanding results. The possibilities are endless when we take a look at, and take action using accountability as a Source Point.

Honoring Agreements Begins from Within

An effective leader honors agreements. It’s that simple. Keeping one’s word to others, and most importantly, to oneself, “makes or breaks” a real leader. Our lives, careers and relationships work exactly to the degree that we keep our agreements. Broken agreements create mistrust, disappointment and broken relationships. Simply put, honored agreements create the life we want to live.

An agreement is a conscious pointing of intention toward a certain goal, and then fulfilling that goal through commitment. It has integrity by virtue of the fact that we make it and for no other reason. Imagine our sphere of influence and enrollment (business-building, for example) if no one took us seriously because they couldn’t depend on, or believe in, what we say. Our integrity and success rests on consistently keeping agreements, no matter what excuse our mind conjures up.

The most profound agreements we make in life are those we make with ourselves. The first step is making an agreement to honor agreements with ourselves. It sounds trite and simple, but it’s the truth. If we can’t keep promises to ourselves how can we expect to keep them with others? The work begins at home. If we’re to honor agreements with others, we must first honor agreements with ourselves.

By staying committed to our word (what we say we’ll do/our agreements), no matter what, we’ll create our dream, reach our goals and be a true leader in our own life, as well as others. In Leadership Source, you will learn how the integrity of agreements create the life you truly want to have.

Taking a Stand for Living the Life You Love!

When someone suggested that I write a personal story for this issue of Source Points, I said, “Moi?” I realized that I don’t do a lot of personal sharing and it gave me a chance to reflect.

Why am I so passionate and committed to people living the life they love? What is it that has me be unrelenting in standing for people to take their lives on to the next level?

What came to me was the stand that my parents took for me.

My parents escaped from Russia during World War II and managed to immigrate, against all odds, to the United States when I was five-years-old. They were in their early 40’s, and more than anything, they wanted their children to experience “the land of milk and honey.” The commitment that they demonstrated was beyond belief, even considering that their level of trust (although understandable) was minimal and communication was challenging. Their Russian-to-English translations left a lot to be desired! So I experienced a very wobbly relationship with them for many years until I truly came to realize the extraordinary stand they took. They were willing to do whatever it took, so that I could have a better life. So, how can I not be a powerful stand for others?

There were many lessons I learned and events I experienced as a result of my parent’s relentless commitment to live in America. As years have gone by, my “wobbly-ness” has turned into great gratitude.

In Certified Relationship Coach Training, we study the three-legged stool concept — commitment, trust and communication — which relationships need in order to be balanced, and not wobbly. We also take on being in ownership as well as embracing all events that have occurred in our lives. These are all critical ingredients to live the life you love. And when you have that, you’re in your very own “land of milk and honey.”

Lou Dozier, Co-Founder, Source Point Training

Trust is the Foundation of All Relationships

In order to be in a relationship, we must have trust. It is an essential part of relationships including family, friends, business, politics and significant others. The good news is that trust can be very fulfilling; the hard news is that trust involves risk. What is your general level of trust with others?

There are different types of trust that include Simple Trust, Blind Trust and Authentic Trust, and in the end trust is a choice.

Simple Trustis the kind of trust that most of us take as unquestionable. As children, we have simple trust until we experience something that challenges that belief; we take for granted that a friend will be true to us, until they are not. Simple Trust can be lost and not recovered.

Blind Trustis when we know the truth but are unwilling to see it — it’s when we ignore what’s really happening. Blind Trust not only rejects evidence, but denies it.

Authentic Trust is where we want to be. In Authentic Trust we are aware of the risks, dangers and liabilities, and maintain the self-confidence of trust nonetheless. Authentic Trust is about being in relationships with what it takes to create, design, maintain and restore trust throughout the journey of the relationship.

Simple and Blind Trust ignores, denies and/or discounts the betrayal of trusts, so there are no alternatives to restoring trust. Authentic Trust understands that trust may be broken, as well as holds the space that trust is a choice.

Trust is not reliability, predictability or what is understood as trustworthiness. Trust is a choice and an option we choose that builds or breaks down relationships. Where do you want to be on the trust scale?

In Certified Relationship Coach Training, we get clear about trust and the roles and aspects of how trust impacts, destroys and/or builds healthy relationships.